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Welcome to www.SackTricks.com, Every Mans Guide To Ball Sack Tricks. We’d love to say there’s something more to this site than ball sack tricks, but that would simply be untrue. As much as we would love to have an influence on the current state of our socially awkward world, “ball sack tricks” are simply that….ball sack tricks. Should these tricks become required curriculum for college courses, we should either be mildly concerned, or hopefully optimistic about the future of ball sack tricks!


Trick #1…The Bacon Wrapped Filet
Three of the best words you could possibly combine. It’s low in carbs and high in class. Don’t think we just sat around and thought of ways to manipulate our balls. No, we’ve taken in consideration that you should have the chance to customize your tricks appropriate to your social settings. Bacon Wrapped Filet brings a little “class” to your quiver of ball tricks. Your initial thought, like ours… weddings! Your best man at the wedding may think this is “inappropriate”, on the contrary, we’ve seen the craziest things happen at weddings; we’d actually expect, nay, be shocked if someone did not pull this off…during the ceremony.

 

Think about incorporating this move when asking someone out to dinner, after all, who doesn’t like going out for burgers?


It’s a Whole New Ball Game 01 Download

Hungry for more hilarious ball sack comedy? Download the full PDF now! For only $4.95 you can have the entire 65 page e-book with even more tricks and gut-wrenching jokes. Download it now so you can have these fantastic tricks at your fingertips anytime and anywhere you want!

Plus, all proceeds will go back into the site so we can continue to bring you more mind bending sack magic.



Trick #2…Punching Bags
With such an emphasis on health these days, we too felt it appropriate to do our part in supporting cardiovascular activity; thus we encourage performing this amazing feat after eating a complete balanced meal of whatever it is you consider balanced. Combining both the mind and the body, prepare to feel both physically and mentally enlightened after executing this top- notch performance; we sometimes feel smarter and healthier just standing next to someone achieving this move. So, if you want to impress your friends with your newly sculpted figure and Zen like attitude, integrate “Punching Bags” into your daily routine.

 

We recommend working out with a friend.

Sack Trick Suggestions

The sack world is ever-changing and we don’t want to fall behind in our quest to provide you with the most current and entertaining tricks as possible. So, we welcome and encourage your suggestions for new and exciting Sack Tricks. Please provide us with as much information as possible below…For example, Sack title, all the steps involved with the trick, a full description of the trick, and your information. If we post the trick on our site you will receive a free gift to show our appreciation.

 

Don’t be shy…Click the button below to suggest a new trick!

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Trick #3…The Skin Watch
Remember that sign in class…”Time will pass, but will you?” Well Ha, Ha! We did pass, and now we’re giving Father Time a whole new make-over. The secret is to show this trick to people who still wear a watch (those numbers are becoming less and less.) Most people check the time by looking at their phones. We highly recommend you DO NOT try to make a Skin Phone…this could result in major injury (but if you do pull this off, let us know.) So, when your buddy asks for the time, give him what he asks for…a Skin Watch. He’ll laugh, you’ll laugh, there will be a moment of uncomfortable silence…but you know it was well worth it!

The Cobbler Reigns Supreme

 

Like many parties, there comes a time when the night starts to wind down and the guys are sitting around talking story. There is usually one guy who thinks his chin pounders are the biggest, baddest, testes around. However, you know deep down that you posess the largest Cobblers. So, when he starts bragging and going on about his hairy nuggets, you let him know that two can play that game. Since he is convinced that his butt smackers are the biggest, you let him put them on display first. Once everyone gets a good look at his pebbles, you know it’s your time to shine. Now, it’s time to showcase what you’ve been hiding all these years – Peach Cobbler. You unzip your fly and begin to reach around for those yam bags. Once you get a good grasp by tugging and stretching, you continue to give a gentle squeeze of the satchel in order to inflate those dragonballs. You wait – and wait – and finally you begin to hear the laughter. All of a sudden everyone races over to get a glimpse of your jewels. The guys are in awe, the girls are in disgust, but you know that the Cobbler reigns supreme.


Trick #4…The Flat Tire
We all hate flat tires…at least we used to, until now. This move, if performed correctly, can impress even the most skeptical. Take a little time to practice this nifty maneuver before you start bragging to your friends. If done incorrectly, you’re going to put a lot of work into a move only to be shunned by your friends for masturbating in public. The directions say “balls”, as in plural, or having two nuts, though we believe this can still be performed with those “single- nut” owners. Those with three balls, well, this trick should be the least of your worries. I’ve met people with a single nut, but never anyone with three…I wonder what that’s like?

Sack Suggestions

Ball off Battle
The Ball Off Battle is a game us sack tricksters have been playing for years. The battle begins when a group gets together and one by one each baller throws down their best trick. The tricks are viewed by an impartial female who is willing to judge each trick on difficulty, technique, and above all, size. When it boils down to it, there is nothing that beats a huge cobbler. The winner of the battle gets to select one of the losers to shotgun a beer.
Preparation
When performing sack tricks, preparation is key. You never want to be in the middle of a Ball Off Battle only to find out you have the hairiest sack in town. No chick wants to see a gross, hairy sack, you will lose every time. We suggest you keep your sack clean, smooth, and showered. Take care of your sack, so it can take care of you when shit goes down in the Ball Off Battle.
Warnings
Balls are hilarious, but we all know they are not the most pleasant things to look at. We want to send you out into the world with knowledge of ball tricks, but you need to know the rules first. Here are some places where ball tricks might be appropriate; house party, backyard, pool, guest room, Howard Stern show, bathroom, garage, patio, beach, car…etc. Here are some places where ball tricks are inappropriate; school, church, freeways, train station, parks, restaurants, work, any public places, and most of all, never in front of children.


Trick #5…The Flying Squirrel
Like so many, we’ve been deprived of seeing the infamous flying squirrels (outside of nature shows that is). So we dedicate this trick to the first squirrel who took it upon himself to change the evolutionary process. Can you imagine the nuts (pun intended) on the first squirrel who took that leap? It’s now time for you to take evolution into your own hands and let your inner-squirrel loose once and for all. You, like the first squirrel, maybe be criticized initially for this feat, but know deep down your motives are far greater than a cheap laugh from your friends. Let’s see who’s laughing in a million years when this trick becomes so passé because everyone’s sack has evolved to perform the Flying Squirrel…even in cold weather! The degree of difficulty for this one is great, but so was that first leap…here’s to you contributing to the evolutionary process! Fly squirrel…fly!


It’s a Whole New Ball Game 01 Download

Hungry for more hilarious ball sack comedy? Download the full PDF now! For only $4.95 you can have the entire 65 page e-book with even more tricks and gut-wrenching jokes. Download it now so you can have these fantastic tricks at your fingertips anytime and anywhere you want!

Plus, all proceeds will go back into the site so we can continue to bring you more mind bending sack magic.



Trick #6…The Road Map
Sick of pulling over and asking for directions? Are you tired of that annoying GPS voice telling you to exit while passing your exit, only to correct you in a demeaning voice when you’re going the wrong way? No longer will you need to rely on directions from people who try to help, but can’t tell their right from their left. No longer will you have to take crap from the “I’m too good for you” GPS. Put the power in your own hands, and never get lost again. Looking for directions has never been so much fun!

 

We highly encourage you to pull over when performing this move.

 

Note: The only way to pull this trick off successfully it to turn the lights off and grab a flashlight.

Sack Jokes
What do you call eleven naked men sitting on each others shoulders?
A scrotum pole!
Did you hear about the 120-pound guy with the 60-pound testicles?
People say he was half-nuts!
Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up?
Because they don’t have balls to scratch!
What is the cheapest meat?
Deer balls, they’re under a buck!


Trick #7…Gum Shorts
Ahhh…Gum Shorts; this should bring some of you back to sipping Kool-Aid and watching “Gleaming the Cube”, while your sack hangs out of your too short JimmyZ shorts. This once accidental maneuver has evolved into a nostalgic oldie but goodie that continues to surprise your friends and keeps them guessing if “it” really is gum or not hanging from your zipper. You’ll find your less intelligent buddies are even willing to help you remove the “gum” so be aware when showing this off post happy hour.


Trick #8…The Windsurfer
Hands down, this a great trick to begin your “sack trick” (non- paying) career. This is a great maneuver to start with before transitioning into the more complex moves (such as Flat Tire). That said, don’t underestimate the power or complexity of this trick, as it’s not for the timid; you’ll find your greatest amount of exposure when performing this move, both emotionally and physically. After the initial shock, comes “aftershock”, in the form of laughter. The secret is to discern the laughs – are they laughing with you…or at you? Trust us…the harassment will only build your confidence going into the more complex maneuvers as your buddies will grow green with envy (most likely from too much alcohol consumption). Enjoy this recession friendly trick as it costs a hell of a lot less than the actual process of windsurfing.


It’s a Whole New Ball Game 01 Download

Hungry for more hilarious ball sack comedy? Download the full PDF now! For only $4.95 you can have the entire 65 page e-book with even more tricks and gut-wrenching jokes. Download it now so you can have these fantastic tricks at your fingertips anytime and anywhere you want!

Plus, all proceeds will go back into the site so we can continue to bring you more mind bending sack magic.



Trick #9…The Brain
We decided to take the whole “this is your brain on drugs” infomercial to the next level; “these are your balls, these are your balls looking like a brain…any questions?” To further damage an already over-played cliché, “don’t judge a book by it’s cover” – so should you not judge those who attempt this amazing feat in front of their peers, or colleagues. C’mon, how many of us have gone out drinking with our associates…there’s always “that guy” – the one who takes it to the next level, even when the executives are around. Well my friends…now’s the time for you to be “that guy.” Executing “The Brain”, like many first impressions, can lead to one of two things: 1) a major promotion within your organization based on your total confidence for performing such a task in front of your boss and co-workers or 2) the likelihood that you will transition from your current position to manager of janitorial services. Nowadays, that may not be such a bad gig.


Trick #10…The Hamburger
Everyone loves hamburgers; it’s almost a scientific fact. Ever posed with the question, “If you had the choice between pizza or hamburgers, which would you choose?” Most people actually chose pizza, so I guess that means pizza is truly everyone’s favorite food. Fact is anyone can shape their sack and balls in the shape of a triangle, so we’re sticking with the hamburger. If you want to incorporate some protein without the carbs into your friend’s field of vision, give this a shot.

 

Think about incorporating this move when asking someone out to dinner, after all, who doesn’t like going out for burgers?

Thanks for visiting SackTricks.com

 

Truth of the matter is you probably got a lot more out of this site than you initially intended. We’ll bet that you are probably busting these tricks out and taking all the credit. Lucky for you we were not able to copyright everyone’s sack…though we tried. We’re hoping you’re man enough to go with the “honesty” rule; if someone compliments your amazing sack trick, give our site a little recognition! If your gesture fails miserably, well, that’s just user error!

 

We also understand you may have a yearning for more once you’ve mastered the moves we’ve so eloquently illustrated. As in a true capitalistic culture, the more people that spread the word, the more likely we are to reveal more of our secrets! So share our site on all of your social media accounts and buy the full PDF download for only $4.95. Help us help you and we will continue bringing you all the ball sack comedy you heart desires.


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